You minister to my regret
And clean away the smog; my breath
As it clicks and catches through my lungs
You dig the dirt from blood and bones.
I weep with relief at the pain you leave
The hissing release of the burning-disease
My aching Heart yells! It screams! It smolders
Let me go on let me wander no longer
Weed up the burrows that root in my flesh
Tear out the system of feelings I’ve kept
Let me be clean again or let me be dead
re-apply the healing
I’ve clawed off time and again
It builds up like a
Wax. Or an oily, greasy patch
That cannot be removed. Each
Written word squirms through.
I feel the blockage burn away
With phrases long overdue; they
Leave me gasping with relief
To finally be free to breathe.
These thoughts are not mine. If they intrude
One more time
I will cut them up and cast them down
Into the furthest depths of the sea;
Far, far away
Melting-me drips down my ribs
Myself withers and cracks my lips
my soul-glass chips and fogs
I stare down friends and family
as my Self slides down my bones
my heartbeat liquefies and loans
itself down to my
t o e s
Who spits molten lead as I?
Whose shivers leave stone teeth and staring eyes
Who bites the blood into prose and parade
Who paints the bruise into shades that don’t fade
Who lets the lightning in to translate the thunder
Who breathes in the glass dust to exhale the wonder
Who faces the fire to transcribe the burns
Who worries the lion to feel its great fur
Who walks under currents to see the sea play
Who jumps in the lava to rescue the clay
Who pines to feel pain just to write in this way?
Thank God, Myself gets to come along
Or the poet in my brain wouldn’t stay.
My breath is blood and flame.
The bars can’t keep Them away.
The slow drum calls my fate!
The BEAT BERATES MY PACE
THE THUDDING COVERS MY SKIN
WE CAN NEVER
For that time I crushed you down
When you were just trying to help;
I was too concerned with me and Flattery:
My will became my pride, and
I looked down at you, a moment that seizes my heart with pain
To this day.
You wanted nothing more than to make me proud and help me out
And I shut you down.
I am gross and a coward. And my pain is pronounced
What fickle foul delineates my mind
What hissing sentiment I find
Caught up in pools of sticky-me
That clot my breath and misery
i seek to find more than myself
i want not comfort, fame or wealth
but to BOW before the One who KNOWS
THE ONE WHO CLAIMS THE HIGHEST THRONE
Stop being ashamed of love!
Love is not weakness, it is wild roaring strength
It takes nothing to be nothing, to let the wind blow your stars away
It takes raging courage to feel and scream aloud that love
Stop waiting! Stop playing! Don’t pretend for fear of hurt
You do not have to be loved to love
It does not need to be returned.
Fear and disgust
Wretched retching, freezing, snaking
Shaking on the floor.
Naked, fearful, colored, tearful
Sick from pills and steam
Caught in between delight and death
Where wicked torment gleams.