Self inflicted

We sometimes want what will not help…

We seek the lights that will melt our hands

Fingers stretching to touch the gold;

Grasping flames not meant to hold…

We sometimes trust what is always wrong…

Freeing floods deeper than our souls,

Lamenting as we cannot float

Cries for mercy cut off by mill-stones

We trap ourselves then weep for home.

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Real?

Not even sunlight can banish the storms

The tempest that turns all it touches to what I abhor

Tributes of gold that flow from the trees;

Touching the sky to flame, to beauty

Nevertheless, my eyes protest

I do not see light. I do not see grace

A simple drive and what do I find?

Woman and child, together outside

God, they’re in agony!

Holding what’s left, someone’s final breaths

They weep, clad in flesh…

A blink and a jolt, I shudder

Reality returns?

This is not a vigil.

Just chores. Elbows deep in a bag of mulch.

Citsorca

How hard is it to mend

A mind once bent and

Torn? Is it possible to sew

Each neural fabric, a mental

Storm?

My mouth no longer allows a plea

A few eyes are all that’s left of me

Deathly primary shock, the ending freeze

Exquisite numbness is what will finish things.

Make someone a murderer. Distance yourself.

Each person ignores the ones they could help.

Dear one, knock!

Enter if you will.

Anybody sent by God

Does naught but bear goodwill.

How pleasant a task,

Every prisoner asks

“Let me go free! Absolved of all things!”

Poisoner or poisonee… we all need

Miraculous, priceless

Eternal… cleansing.

P

L

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A

S

E

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Home

I am not a belonger in this place

I cannot imagine a berth in such space

My heart twists and yearns, the greediness turns

But nobody knows better than I-

This place was not meant for my mind-

I do not belong, I should continue to roam

I know this Feeling is not my home.

Emotions are fickle, they twist and they whine

They scratch at our faces and weep from our eyes

I know not to trust them, I know they are false

Like the hearth of this Emotion will never be a HOUSE.

I do not I do not I do not

Belong.

Jealousypridegreedlustselfishness roams

If they call this a home, I will

Leave this sand for the stone.

Liability

The tiniest sliver is far too dark; a piece of my heart

Too sharp, too sharp

I cannot believe it, the words are a lie

Who would want someone as broken and dangerous as I?

Please let go now before I trust too much

Please walk away before I need you and you run

I find it hard to even want myself

So how could someone else,

someone else?

Lord, please help me

Have mercy on your child.

I feel the crushing weight of wind;

But it’s from inside, it’s from inside.

Grant peace to my fluttering soul

Still my quaking heart of bone

Rescue me from this FLESHY PRISON

I hate my thoughts and how my mind won’t

listen

Free me from this place of loss.

Send rescue to this island of thought.

I’m trapped here now, but there once was a bridge

I walked here on my own, or was I convinced?

I hate this place, the burden-sky

How heavy the weight of remaining alive

I’m tired of pouring, this pitcher is dry

I’m weary of helping, this world would not mind

If I shriveled and gave in and gave up and died…

Fill me back up

Please

I can no longer try