Tag Archives: relationship

Refinement

Who understands but Yaweh
Who feels the depths of the agony?

I am broken and alone
Each human failed me, one by one
No one can stand the test of time
Of sleeplessness through these trials of mine

I callously discard them. I painfully disregard their
Deception, malice, unjust intent
Their abuse and neglect and abandonment

I ford the waters alone.
A single rough rock among river stones. 

Achilles heel

We almost fell apart that night
Because I was a snarling mess
We didn’t know it then, but
The exhaustion inside me was dancing a snare into effect

You pushed the food closer, I sat on the floor
“Baby, please eat, you need it more
Than you think”
You did not sound strong and reassuring and heroic
You sounded vulnerable and weak

Because you were,
Because I was.

I am your open wound.

Nostalgic Prayer

Someday I’ll look back and be astounded
Someday I’ll reminisce and be amazed
at all the ways my life has changed;
tears shed for deaths we all regret —
friendships, friends, desires… dead.

Someday I’ll wonder just what happened
Where all the sunlit years have gone
My heartbeat then will go to sleep
my words will breathe no more.

I long for absolution from the starrer of the skies
the one who galaxied creation
and all the colors in your eyes.

Let my skin cease to glow
the day my colors fade.
and otherwise my spirit grow
in love and mercy night and day.

Human

Please do not think you know me

Do not think you can read my eyes. 

I am far more wild and cold; your familiar manner I despise

No man could ever know my heart

For I’ve sent it far away; it resides in icy barricades beyond a frozen sea
No one will melt the frost

No one will touch my thoughts

I curl my lip in bitter distaste

All you know is my ivory face. 
Welcome to the savage realm where blood runs black like venom

I tear apart my own veins in disheartening disease

I need to breathe, I’m choking, please

Step far away from me. 

When will I cease being able to repress

The feelings I imprison, I do not redress

Your heart when you spill it like ink in my hands

I stare at my fingers bleeding your love like sand 

And wonder how long it will last. 

What light can exist without a flame

What father without a son?

What tree can thrive without the sky

Full of fire as warm as love?
I do not think that I either

Could live without your light. 

For even surrounded by Death-words,

My language is filled with your might. 
I struggle in this ocean of oxygen, 

I scrape by only on bread and meat. 

My soul is starved, my heart out-bled

And my spirit can find nought to eat. 
Give me the food of the golden suns

Give me what fuels the skies. 

Sick of crawling, this endless run

Has struck my spirit blind. 
Again, you call me near to you. 

Softly then my heartaches are known. 

I fall into deepness and still you call,

You command me to return to my home. 
So I run, done with crawling,

with the faux joyful face. 

I am warmer already

By the light of your gaze. 
And I run, now with joy

I run free from pain

I run to your feet

Where I can finally 

Breathe

Again.