the deep undying echo in my heart and soul decides
just who i love, and how strongly
how low the current drags me and how acidic the teardrops fall
i look back at your emptiness and the agony is o v e r w h e l m i n g
i want to hold you and purge it all
I don’t think I know anyone
All hearts are foreign to me
Have I ever even loved? Have I ever set someone free
Why do my heartbeats echo just to hurt the ones I need
I’ve fought a thousand battles trying to find you, searching for some infinite desire that would anchor me to another
I found nothing and no one
Just shadows full of twinkling promise,
Remnants of love; so I kept looking
And I discovered strength instead of companionship.
Dignity instead of desire.
Joy in place of longing.
And I am free of binding chains; now I search languidly, with expectation
what do I breathe
This mess of fog and disease
I beat my wings to cut through the smog
But instead, hearts around me bleed.
Who am I and
Why can’t I help
Why can’t I let this love
For a brief time,
The sunlight will graze my eyes
And my words will haze and thrive
And the colors will paint my pain
Roses and thorns and stains
The grating will give way to whispers
The blossom will silence the scream
i will reflect on the stars and on wonder
(do you love her?)
Until the aching returns to my dreams.
Traveling again to the memory lands
Alone or laden with new love within
To erase the taste of the past in my mouth
Like burnt sugar inhaled from the wind.
When will I be able to breathe again?
To shiver-shout my heart, or not
To cut away my distraught,
Disease. To sink and drown my ease
I must stop this reckless singing-breeze
Cut the sawblade, iron the trees
Sink your lassoes and furrow the breeze
Let your people take their ease, and
Calm the raging seas.
She is annoyed by the facade
Wrinkles her nose at the callous distance
Who are these people? What does it mean to feel?
The pendulum swings so easily
Like a crane of death, a wrecking-breath
Why trust your heart when it cannot be counted upon to start?
WHY CAN’T YOU SPEAK PLAINLY?
What a perfect way to disappear
Just heap the anger in
It buries everything human
And leaves you utterly hidden.