Humility and sadness?

Will I ever

Be happy? My payments never

Seem to end

I cannot seek the resting, because

My debt will not descend

Have not I paid the dues this earth

Has called us all to pay?

Have not my sufferings yet been sufficient

Been enough- for a lifetime- each day?

I will wait, Palms upward, feet aching and bruised

I will surrender my heartache and tremors and

Abuse

I cannot see an end to this tunnel, nor a filling

Of my soul

Everything so empty now, I doubt

I’ll ever

Be full.

So I wait… in pain… and praise.

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feel the weight of lost souls like no steel could ever hold;

I feel the weakness of all the strong hearts

As they fall into the dark. 
I cannot dispel this raging storm of agony and flame

I cannot seek a numbing relief for my soul-madness and pain

Instead i beseech in twisted tongues for those who breathe with shallow lungs

I gouge the tears from my own eyes

And remember, with peace, why He came and died.