Seeker

You cannot touch the light in my eyes

Keep trying to find me, I’ll

Continue

To hide.

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Breathe

I went on a mission to change my name

To cut through my braids and melt all my chains

Chopped off my hair, pierced through my flesh

Wandered away from my home; I fled

Who am I now that I’ve challenged my soul

Conquered the shadows that threatened and broke?

I jumped from the heights, I set out alone

I held fast to the loneliness grinding my bones.

Now I am different, sharper, and free

Now I am entirely

Painfully

Me.

fear-steps

i had to step through the looking-glass,
the hoops and the spinning chimes.
i had to curl up and close my eyes,
allowing the thieves all my time.

i had to give in to the burdening blades
the heaviest sunrise, the blood-sky most stained.

i had to relinquish the storm in my heart, or

my killers would never depart.

Redirect

I’ve fought a thousand battles trying to find you, searching for some infinite desire that would anchor me to another

I found nothing and no one

Only dust. 

Just shadows full of twinkling promise,
Remnants of love; so I kept looking
And I discovered strength instead of companionship. 

Dignity instead of desire. 

Joy
in place of longing. 
And I am free of binding chains; now I search languidly, with expectation

Instead

Of desperation.