Whoa, what bitterness is this
Whose twisted thoughts have I trekked in?
Surely this darkness isn’t mine,
This want for aching, wasted time
Someday I’ll be solid, healed
Someday the nightmares won’t be there to steal
If the nights are silent, the days reveal
Endless screaming from the ones repealed
Some time night and day alike
Will toss their haunting-juggling storms
And all the worry and fear I despise
This Christmas time, my mind
Is racing with thoughts of death.
The woman in the road
The loyal dog that crumbled to ash in my hands
The grandfather I did not get to bid farewell…
The fathers that faded away before their time,
Hurting the loved ones in my life
I close my eyes and see demise
The permanence of death that floods my head
How do I stop this whirlwind and
Succumb to peace instead?
It is hard to weep in light, my
Sadness craves the night
past time when I am long alone, when skydark hits and mutes the known
I cry softly on my own.
I did not know that stones
When will this grief stop its roaming, and settle
more quietly into a home? I cannot
be like this much longer or my tears
will fill my lungs.
I’m drowning from above, and no one
Has offered me any way up
To see the sky and breathe again
To where the sea is not flooding my oxygen
And cursing my skin with its sting.
I would love to care about such trivialities
Pause by the door, expecting your snore
I halt in the hallway, kill the words on my lips
I call for a name that no longer exists.
THERE IS A PAIN WITHIN ME THAT I CANNOT CURE THE WORLD
AND A TAUNTING, HAUNTING LAUGHTER FROM THE DARK WHERE PEOPLE HURT
I CANNOT FIX THE BROKEN, I CANNOT STEM THE FLOW
I CANNOT HALT THE BLEEDING OF THE HEARTS who have LET GO.
EACH NIGHTDARK WHISPERS HATING-THINGS THAT SIBILIANTLY SPREAD THEIR WINGS
COASTING IN ON WICKED THOUGHTS WHICH ARE ALL DISGUISED AS HARMLESS DROPS
OF RAIN AND WIND THAT SWEEP THE SHORES
OF EVERY HEART BOUND TO IGNORE
i love you, let me help you feel
Perhaps I am selfish
Or cruel, or cold
Perhaps I am brazen and fearless and bold.
Perhaps I am careless and angry and deeply
I doubt my soul will ever rest
Knowing there are those in eternal distress
How can I find peace when a wanderer meets
Such a fiery, empty demise?
I WANT THEM ALL TO REACH PARADISE