Leveled

We are all strong in our memories, coiled up within us

Dreams of daylight, power bleeding from the scratches in our vanity.

We are all certain of our humanity, cutting corners at the table

Wreathed in flame and laurel

Dismissing every weakling that would grovel for a meeting

Drunk on power until

We are stumbling in the dark, screaming for the light

Tripping from the pursuer, frightened by the sight of truth

We are powerful until the dark strips us of everything and we weep, broken, in the shadows; children

in

the night.

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tame

Struggled through another dawn, another break of blood and brawn

Cracked my own bones, split my own veins

Broke up my courage just to remain

And then I gave

my life

Away.

until i could breathe under concrete and grain

Homesick

We weep bitterly, sickly
At all the suffering on earth
Our hearts most finely tuned to death
And the successive flood of hurt.

I weep like glass is in my veins
I cry and scream til sorrow stains
My soul and leaves me haunted, pained
Like the flood will tear my heart away.

We shake our fists at God
We break our teeth with grinding
How could you? How could you

The aching is crescendoing 
My pain is overwhelming

Yet I do not stand alone. 
This was never my home. 

Lord let me

Why, contemplation leaves me low

And bitter hearts still seek the cold.

I lose myself in time and sleep

An exhausted spirit is all I keep. 
So let me in to warm my feet

And sit awhile beside the flames. 

At once to rest and speak in peace

Forever safe in Your embrace. 
I nod my head and fire climbs high

My eyelids flicker low. 

I’m no longer out in the bitter cold —

You smile and drape over me Your coat. 

I battle with fear

Absolute
horror.
Panic and fear and tears and penitence.

I am a mistake I am sorry I am nothing I am small I am ashamed I am ugly stupid worthless broken foolish flawed and slow, dying I am dying oh, my God my King my only hope I am so
Very
Afraid

You are whole in me. You are saved. You are SAVED, Child. Stop panicking. Stop fearing. Be fearless. Let my perfect love cast out your fear, let it destroy it, let it fill you with hope and kindness and my love, that you would fill the world with hope again.
Stop crying, Little One. You are mine, now and forever.

I am sorry I am so small I’m sorry please forgive me let me be closer to you, my peace and completion, the ache of my heart is for you.

Be still. I am the LORD your God. The Great I Am, who healed and chose and saved you. Peace, dear one. Peace, frail one. I will never let you fall. You will never be alone.