Do you recall the times
You called out in the night
And your voice bounced off the walls,
And all around, in spite?
And you weren’t careful with your words
Because you thought
I was there for every wish
Every lost thought and brokenness;
i stalked your breath and kept your kiss
your secrets enslaved to my shudder and fist
you wanted relief but you sold the release
you are known by unknown entities;
Who am I? I’ve just been drifting through the fog awhile
Breathing in the murk, the hazy
All mess upped and turn arounded
If I stop writing I’ll be drownded
Let spill the sizzling hilt of sword
that dams your flooding blood with steel
the lapping blade, its greedy stains
which bring the coping rain.
My vision blurs, I sink and swirl
and every cell within.
my poison will never win
I vomit ink to cure the meat
of pages of empty sin.
Make me a steak of refusal-fate
and I’ll spit in my hand and grin.
I’ll slay whatever filthy hound
would cut my bile with gin.
I don’t know who I am when all these wordlets nip my skin
Some haunting-story strokes my arm
And begs so softly, “name me, mother,”
I pull my flesh from dissonant harm
And beat the tale back to be told by another.
Uncertain future, tumbling past
I will not shrink back, I will not relax
Shivering memories, glittering dreams
Someday I’ll steal myself some peace.
Ah! I propagate such worthless states
I kindle hearts with eating-haste
I sip the silver lip of eyes
The gourds of flame, of fire and ice
I whirl the spinning and purloin their stares
I whistle and whip up the ferryman’s wares
I catch my breath on the current of thought
And my oil-slick heart bleeds — a lot.
Still not but harrowing be the breath
Still not still but my heart beats
I ache to find repose in death
Meanwhile attempting to believe.
Call privilege, vainly swoop abroad
Above sluggish shores of little gods.
Defeat the lineage of the beast
Which picks our bones from pleasing teeth.
Disregard interim fate. If you’re not you, why ever wait?
The world longs for Tragedy, for Grey tones turned Silver by romantic sludge.
give her instead some Bravery. Let Quiet call the hush.