I still feel fake
Like I am a parade
What business do I have
Saying I’m not okay?
As healthy as I seem… My sickness can’t be seen.
My poison had no name
So WHO AM I TO CLAIM
“I can’t because I’m lame…”
To pass along the blame?
It is so hard to accept, to know
That I can ever say no…
twelve days twelve days twelve days twelve
i set you free, you sought me out
turn me down, i feel your doubt
boldly strong only when i am gone
I’m sorry, I’m
still more than enough for you
and you felt you were never
i’m sorry for the hauntings, for the presence, for the longings
i’m sorry that you can’t forget and
just want to be friends
It is beautiful, expensive; it glimmers
With all the promise of the storm.
From crushing olives, oil is born.
I lose my breath for the ways we wept
Carving our chains from the sorrows we claim
I curse my hands as they build my plans
The coffin sized for me that I lovingly heed
Each step towards my death I shriek as I grin
I cannot stop mourning even as I descend
Why do we not cease all this clamor and doubt?
I know what will save me but I grieve anyhow
We built our own tomb-traps but we gild them and stay!
filling the rooms with silver decay
Floating our corpses in gold-blood and gloom
We’re certain this death will not be the last
We’ve died so many times in the past
What Breed am I?
What sovereign eye
Has cursed me not to feel?
Unless I cut myself to bleed these words of grit and death?
Who cursed me not to love unless
I first write of distress?
Somewhere I am weeping, teeth glinting in wailing screams upon the floor
Somewhere my eyes are blinding rage with the justice they restore
Somewhere my jaw is tight and cold and my gaze sweeps frozen by
Somewhere I soften and forgive as someone before me cries
Somewhere I grieve
Somewhere I lose
Somewhere I hesitate and choose
Somewhere I laugh with golden tones that dance in silver song
Somewhere I live, I belong,
Each version of me alive in someone’s mind all along.