How dare you look at her like that
Like a broken toy to pity
There is pain inside her heart unknown
Her burden is already heavy
Shame is not the tool of love
Love does not scream out our mistakes
It does not look down at him just because
He owns scars that he cannot erase
Love guides brokenness home to be healed
Love soothes every wound from your pain and despair
The wretchedness, crying and heart-torn-up loss
Can be replaced with the love that your sorrows had lost.
Bare my flesh till all that’s left is you Jesus
Cut to my core I want nothing more than you Jesus
Break the bonds I tied myself
Come quickly lord, I crave your help
This void inside of me is deep
The motions drive it deeper still.
I pray “oh lord, my soul to keep”
Your presence makes chasms to fill.
When I seek you, heaven roars
The planets tremble to their cores
The lightning streaking down to earth
Cries glory at your perfect works.
I’m terrified that my proclivity
Is intense and hollow jealousy
Why else would, deep inside of me,
I feel these claws of some painful thing?
You are beautiful, friend, and I am afraid
What if I turn out to be not enough?
Your eyes are brighter, you’re wonderfully made
Who here is the better of us?
Certainly everyone would choose you,
Or her, or her. The improvements increase.
I cannot seem to grasp the truth
That no one can be compared to me.
I am me, and that girl is she
There is no almost, no in-between
If our souls share no commonality-we are wholly unique, as He declares it to be-
Then why should I stagger with insecurity?
Precious Lord, give worth to me.
I am found in You alone.
If I ever were to indulge
Allow myself the misery
Of imagining a time and place
Where you did not love me;
Well in that place, in such a gap
Would you suffer me to win you back?
Say you’d let me sing a tune
Say you’d hear me call to you.
Certainly in my imaginings
My voice has left your remembering
Surely a hum of love from me
Would jar your loveless memory
In such a far-away; another sky, another day,
Where all the “ifs” in mind coalesce
And form between us a lovelessness,
Such a place is silly, yet haunts nonetheless.
So if in some space and time you’d find
That you did not wish to be called mine
Oh promise me a simple thing
In that place swear to hear me sing.
The beauty of I with you is not lost on me
I see all the wonder of normalcy
To sit and share a basket of fries
Or to read your mind by those priceless eyes.
The greatest thing about time
Is that it changes us all so constantly
So no one has loved the you that is mine
Each day we are new
Each day I will choose to love this you
Each day I will rise with love as a choice
I will remember how much you are the same
And how much you are different
I will recall that you choose me
Here and now
And longer, I believe
I will choose you
Again and again
As we change
As time marches on
And the world spins along
I will love the you that is mine.
As God has made sacred and pure,
This thing called love
I will hold it careful and sure,
I will constantly as time remind you
And seek to love you in truth.
you say that I am elegant
Like royalty defined.
I wonder why these blessings
Have occurred to make you mine.
My heart speaks volumes in its quiet
When yours is close to me, nearby.
I never thought my blood would run silent
So as not to drown out those eyes.
Part of missing someone
Is fear
It is a longing but also anxiety
That the longing will never cease to be
It is a quiet thought in the back of one’s mind, at best
That whispers relentlessly
“What if?”
And wondering begins,
“What if they do not want me anymore?”
“What if life tears them away from me?”
“What if,” it screams. So softly, “what if?”
But with you that voice has quieted
Your presence has become so real
I no longer fear life without you
Because it is so certain you will stay
I do not fear you leaving
Or your deciding not to keep me
Because of the way we laugh together.
I assume your return to my side
I await the glow of your light.
I know you’ll always want me
Because we speak of love as a choice,
Not a flighty emotion or a chemical voice.
We seek guidance in all that we do,
Living for God and His word and truth.
The love from Him, it casts out terror! No shadow of petrification remains.
His grace soothes with delight, it transforms every dark night, and I no longer waste worry over change.
So missing you does not hurt like that
Although the ache is real
When you are missing from my side, I am sad-
But such a fear is not something I feel.
What you spent I can never repay
Or the battle you fight every day
You stand up for our souls in delight
Declaring them welcome to your light.
When I am of the world, I am lost
My colors fade to dismal shades.
I am ashamed of all that I am not
But you take me, broken, anyway.
My God, I can never be enough
I suppose that’s the beauty of grace
Mercy collides with your love
To show us a glimpse of your face.
Nothing’s different day by day
The palette of life changes so slowly
By the time I look up, cerulean is gray
And gray becomes black, inky and deep.
The colors fade into one another so carefully
I am never sure of their first identity
Was this rose or salmon; perhaps it was peach?
It has now become a darkness that lies within my reach.
I will stretch out my fingers and seek new paint
No longer caged in by shaded tones.
I will pour this darkness down the drain
And paint colors to make the world a home.
Just Me, No More or Less 