DEEP-PEACE

There is light deep in my chest

Where the bones and currents rest;

And the thunder-ache is stilled

down to a quiet whisper-thrill;

There is warmth flickering round

Over ribcage, stone and sound;

That I know what tomorrow holds.

Or rather Who has always held it close.

moratorium

I don’t feel like myself I put her on the shelf

She can wait til the sunlight returns;

In the dark of the dawn, the stars all long gone

I will protect her

from living this curse.

holding

Force me out it breaks you down

The weeping will not wait.

The claws that drip unfettered slip

Into lungs that long to drown.

Boiling… roll.

The storm clouds call.

I shelter from the rain instead of submerging in the pain

so when the flames come I am dry

I am crisp as leaves on autumn nights

Ready to burn up before the great lights

Nothing to protect me because it’s still

locked

Inside—

Create-create-create-re-break.

I write just to writhe free of the thoughts that I hate.

I spit up the words just to release my own fate

I fall out of control just to breathe what I need—

A conscience despairing over each possible deed;

A mind fragmenting again because I feel I should bleed;

The tortured connections I court for reprieve;

I flirt with disaster because it’s family to me.

brooding

I sit.

Ache for you.

Crave your presence.

Long for refuge.

Wonder what will now follow—

as I try to flee such solitude—

But despite the ascent

the hollow attends me—

befriends me—

will not—

relent.

wish I had a choice

I think it’s time to slide away

To spend the day in apathy;

I cannot hurt if there is no me—

DO YOU KNOW MY REAL NAME?

Sick, sick, sick, I-am-sick;

Taste a good thing, but worry it quick.

Smoke mimics beauty, ashes come from flame

I know who you see and I know who I am

AND I WORRY THEY ARE NOT THE SAME.

Would you still smile at me if you saw all my stains?

weeping reprised

Sudden-sudden-suddenly

Peace.

the crumbling comes but it can’t steal my feet.

I fight past the deluge of monsters and mist;

The water still seeks me, but the drowning

desists.

b r e a k

Terror terror terror

grows.

CREEPING CUTTING WINDING PAIN

the dark the light they fight again

And I, the collateral damage

REMAIN.